Heavenly Minded
Aug
29th
2010
— Preface by Tony —
Beth went to be with the Lord, Friday October 8, 2010. She is now worshipping before his throne, with full exuberance and joy. We are encouraging people to continue to read Beth’s blog, and to continue to leave comments, as we know God is still using her words.
I HAVE REPAIRED THE PROBLEM WITH THE COMMENTS. YOU SHOULD NOW BE ABLE TO LEAVE A COMMENT ON ANY POST.
You can search the blog using the search tool in the blue header photo of Lake Superior. You can also browse by date, using the navigation tools on the right. Below is her last post, dated August 29, 2010.
—-end of preface——————-
After this lengthy period of blogging drought; I have some things to share. From facebook and email updates, you know this family has been on an emotional roller coaster.
I need to preface this post with the statement that i still believe God will heal me. Like Melinda posted recently about Daniel 3, what i said so many months ago:
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego answered and said to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If that is the case, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and He will deliver us from your hand, O king. But if not, let it be known to you, O king, that we do not serve your gods, nor will we worship the gold image which you have set up.”
It is this conviction that propels me forward… so this post is NOT about heaven, rather about being heavenly minded. As I write further i pray you will see why reading a book about heavenly mindedness (which i actually read a few weeks before the diagnosis came,) and believing God to heal me and not only heal but to bring us through without the smell of smoke on us…
(And the satraps, administrators, governors, and the king’s counselors gathered together, and they saw these men on whose bodies the fire had no power; the hair of their head was not singed nor were their garments affected, and the smell of fire was not on them.)
there is no contradiction of focus here at all. I don’t want merely to survive , I want to survive so that i might live more passionately.
The book I am re-reading is Things Unseen by Mark Buchanan. Leona had given me the book because over coffee I had mentioned I want to be more heavenly minded. HAH! that’ll teach me. And Dana has told me about a billion times in what way exactly she knows the author personally. So i read the book, was really provoked to some big thoughts about God. And then we find out I have cancer.
One of the things i lost during chemotherapy along with my hair was my ability to focus and to read. Even your precious blogs and facebook tidbits just overwhelmed me. Hmmm, recently in this last week, i re-gained my ability to read with comprehension. What a sublime pleasure it is to both have great BIG thoughts about God and have small connections made visible.
I picked the book up again mostly to skim, but it became something much bigger than that. I want to share with you some thoughts and truths I have come across in the book.
A) I am created for eternity. And so are you. Buchanan writes… “[God] created each of us for eternity, where we may be surprised to find our true calling, which always seemed to be just out of reach here on earth.”
B) The longing in us for the Parent is so deep, so desperate, that deprived of Him, any stranger will do.
created for eternity with the delirious, strong, protective love of my Father… ah, Father please don’t let us settle for less.
C) People fixated on earth rarely change the world. Buchanan goes on to say that they rarely stand down despotic tyrants. He uses as examples people like Caesar, Pharaoh and Stalin. I add Hitler to that list (thinking of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, young German Pastor during World War II who died in a concentration camp rather than conform to evil.) Hearts and minds filled with thoughts of heaven ache for the heavenly kingdom… they labour to see change here on earth.
All this led to a few of my own thoughts:
E) our precious nephew, Randy is evidence for me of a goodness and of a beauty in this world that some are willing to write off.
Randy has autism. And despite some crushed dreams, his parents move forward doing the best and right thing for him. I get angry at times at the stupidity of people who make cruel, soul crushing comments and judgments. I even get angry at God sometimes that this happened to this boy, and then that it ever happened to anyone. Yet, to quote Buchanan again about another instance of beauty…
there is a wild hope in her eyes and she possesses a soul piercing beauty.
I thought of Randy immediately. I see a desperation to connect despite fear. I see a love sooooo huge; it takes my breath away. His photo is on the desktop of my netbook and I pray for him whenever i spy that smile full of mischief. I know that in heaven, if we are not granted a miracle here on earth… Randy will be able to fully express his heart. He will play hockey with his Dad. But it is the pursuit of being heavenly minded that leads me to pray and pray and love and love some more.
F) one last Beth thought on this topic for today… Mystery novels mimic God and his communication about heaven. Whoa that was random, right? Give me a second to explain. Buchanan writes:
God has set eternity in the hearts of man, but they cannot fathom what he has done. He is everywhere baiting us, prodding, luring us. He is playing hide and seek with heaven and earth, strewing clues all around, brushing the commonplace with the scent of things unseen. Making us wish for more and always coming up short.
I am an avid devourer of mystery novels, and of epic legends of courage. A great story. I find my imagination completely captured by a puzzle fueled by love and courage. God is not playing games with us, anyone who wants to find Him and sets out to know Him will. Rather, God understands that the insight we gain with a bit of sweat is truth owned forever. And while a good mystery does use red herrings and false trails, a good mystery does not overuse them to make sport of us. As we dismiss an option, a solution because of truth exposing its false-ness (that a word?,) we need not come back down that road again. The Holy Spirit lays out the clues in a well measured fashion. Each precept upon precept whetting our appetites for our true home.
Chickadees are waking and it’s almost time for church, hopefully next post will be here before we know it.
i am loving all of you… thank you for the support and prayers.
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego answered and said to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If that is the case, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and He will deliver us from your hand, O king. But if not, let it be known to you, O king, that we do not serve your gods, nor will we worship the gold image which you have set up.”
(looking forward to no whiff of smoke.)
Melly
Tears are welled up in my eyes – I’m so happy to see you here – how I’ve missed you! So pleased that you can read and enjoy your BIG thoughts again, and that you can share them with us again!
I’ve been thinking heavenly-minded thoughts lately too – reading the Chronicles of Narnia to Declan, reading more C.S. Lewis, reading about him, etc. A quote that comes to mind when you talk of the mystery here on earth is: “Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see”.
C. S. Lewis
The same story written across the whole world is eternity. Clues abound, we can see the letters but can’t make out the whole word…
Peggy
I am so happy that you are able to enjoy reading again. It is also wonderful that you are able to write and share your thoughts. You are able to voice ideas that I can’t find the words for. I hope you are able to enjoy little moments that stretch into big ones. With love and prayers, Peggy
Melinda
So so happy to have a blog post up here. Earl and I love you tremendously and love your voice – spoken AND written!
Miss you lots
Katherine
wow…what a feat! this is so great that you could post such a post like this…love you mommy!
Heather
You have *so* much love! Your post even brought tears to Tony’s eyes. I love you so much and I totally get not feeling well enough to read/think- I went through that with the hyperemesis and you can’t even really explain to people who don’t feel that UNwell.
I’m so glad you’re back from THAT dark place. You are the sweetest, most endearing mommy the world has ever had the privilege to know, and I can’t wait to see you again!
beth (20birds)
need to point out here that Heather is married to a Tony, as is her sister and my other niece. Heather’s Tony is the hero in Randy’s eyes.
angie
This is beautiful. . . the post I had to stop reading during church (shhhh!) because it was making me cry.
I love you, Beth. And like your daughters, I love your spoken and written voice. . . SO much!
Mary Z
I love you so much, Mommy and I can’t wait until this whole mess is behind us. I’m so glad your strength is coming back and it’s great to have you writing again. Also, I asked off a weekend in late September so that I can visit.
It’s the greatest joy to be able to talk to you on the phone again
Lois Grebowski
so glad you’re doing much better! HUGS!
Leona
About a month ago I pulled out my copy of Things Unseen to re-read. I put it down again to zone out with a mystery novel. You have reawakened my desire to read Mark Buchanan’s book again! Thank you.
Believing with you!
Heather
I just have to say again, over and over, how much I love you and need to see you. And spend far more time with you. <3
jonipossin
Beth, you write so beautifully and have so much to say. God is using you in a very special way. I am anxious to reread your post and then print it out and hang it above my desk. So much to think about.
I am so happy for you that reading is again possible. It opens so many doors and brings so much to the reader.
My prayers are with you and your family.
Joni
Shelly @ Life on the Wild Side
Beth, Angie has been keeping me up to date about your situation. I just want you to know that I am praying for you. But I also want to thank you for the encouragement you have been to me in my blogging journey and also for the words in this post. Truly amazing. God bless you, my friend.
Nancy
what a comfort it is to read this right now. Thankful for this blog. I love you beth cain xo
Desley
I’m just so thankful that I was so truly blessed to have had a “Beth-friend,” as Leona so perfectly puts it.
Underneath that rich pastiche of creativity that was evident to all of us — sketches, crafts, scrap-booking, cooking, decorating, video editing, photography, writing, etc– there was something else going on in that heart that imagined and brought forth all of this beauty. A rock-hard, solid faith in her Saviour and a longing to love deeply and be loved deeply.
Beth, you always encouraged me. You rooted for me. You sat in the waiting room of the l&d for 7 or 8 hrs, praying, while I delivered Leila. You threw extravagent parties for my children, baby showers, invited me to your childrens birthdays, graduation celebrations and band performances, cooked me meals, took me for birthday dinners, spilled your heart out over Jenny’s superbly flavoured, steamed coffee, prayed for me at the drop of a dime, validated my passions, and always made me feel accepted and significant. I puzzled over it. I felt awkward about it. I was thrown off by the openness and intimacy which you strove for whole-heartedly from the get-go. By the way you exposed yourself to me and made yourself vulnerable. I thought,”there must be an ulterior motive because why would someone care so much about me? Why would someone trust me who does not even know me–or worse, continue to put their trust in me once they do know me? ”
But I guess that was just your way. You seen something that needed a little tweaking and strengthening (or a lot) and you got to work. You looked past the imperfections (to put it lightly) and sin in me (and virtually everyone you met) and instead focused on the God Who was at work in me.
You reached out and invested yourself into me and my family…and that’s what I have to say stands out above all else that I’ve known about you. That you did not just invest your time, energy and strength into my family and I, but your very self.
There is a small risk when you invest your time, efforts, energy into someone, but when you invest your very self into someone, that risk is weighty.
After having nursed a broken heart a few times over one naturally begins to feel the gravity of that risk, but you did not let the fear hold you back from living life to its fullest.
Which is why I thank God for you so.
You could have been bitter. You could have been fearful. You could have been cynical. You had reason to be. But instead of trying to protect yourself from more heartbreak by closing yourself off and putting on armour of bitterness, with arms wide open and heart exposed just like your Saviour, you entrusted yourself to Him. In return your heart grew, and along with it your love for others and this zest for life that I could not comprehend for the life of me. Why would you want to enjoy this world when everywhere you turn there is another threat? But threats didn’t deter you. You cultivated an eye for the simplest treasures and pleasures of life and delighted to glean and savour as many of them as possible as you passed through this corrupt (and yet beautiful) world below.
When you posted the video on your blog “boom dee ya da” and commented on how much you loved this video, I thought “what’s so wonderful about it?” But I think I understand now.
Looking back on your life I see now that it’s just a matter of what, or Whom, your heart is attuned to. If, like you, though we live in a broken world where lurking in the shadows of every corner is pain, hurt, evil, (and sometimes it actively comes up against you,) we make a conscious choice to think on the good, we’ll see pretty quickly that there is far, far more good things about this world than bad: The grace God gives us to open our eyes to a new day each morning. That there is a morning and that there are new mercies from God that come with each one of those mornings. That there is a sun. That we can breath crisp Canadian winter air into our lungs.That we can catch fresh, cold snowflakes on our tongues. That we are surrounded by beauty and tastes and smells and sensations that are pleasing to the senses and it is all there because of the goodness of God.
That we can think hard, feel intensely, ride the highs and struggle through the lows. That we can express ourselves and share our hearts with others through a whole range of channels: speech, poetry, books, music, movies, dance. That we can love, though it will hurt at times. That we can dream big dreams, though with those dreams come the risk of disappointment. That we can feel pleasure, though with it the risk of pain. That we can laugh, cry, dream, strive, dance, feel,
…truly live.
But more than that, that we have a Saviour who gives us the grace to help us in our time of need. Whose strength is made perfect in our weakness. Who is merciful, ever faithful, ever loving, patient, kind, righteous, good, holy. Who is close to the broken hearted and Who is ever with us.
Who may not always spare us from the fiery furnace, but Who will always walk with us while we’re in it so we are not consumed and we are delivered without even a whiff of smoke on our clothes. That we have this treasure in jars of clay, and that is the hope we cling to.
I love you Beth. There’s no way to measure the impact you’ve had on me and so many others. I couldn’t if I tried. You are an inspiration to me. I know God loves me because he graced my life with you. He used you to mend me up in ways that I didn’t even realize I was broken. To build me in areas had no idea I was weak. To teach me to see and savour the goodness of God. To muse on and appreciate, as you so beautifully coined it on your blog, “the finer things in life.” And God used you to give me eyes to see these finer things in life that He has been, and still does, lavish on us liberally out of the abundance of His great love and grace every single second of every single day.
I’m just sorry I didn’t recognize what a blessing you have been to me before this whole ordeal. What a gift you have been.
In honour of your life, my dear friend, I will do as you and make a deliberate choice, not merely to survive as I have been attempting to do, but to resolve myself to survive *so* I may live more passionately.
I love you and will sorely miss you.Thank you ever so much. Until we meet again…
Desley
Desley
Oh…and guess what video was playing tonight…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5BxymuiAxQ
Amen to that!
Rainer
What a beautiful tribute, Desley!
Melly
Desley – your words are beautiful and so true. I was lucky enough to have Beth befriend me and her ability to love amazed me.
Fantacy
My words aren’t as eloquent or well put as Desley’s even though I could write for days how much you meant to me. I have tried so many times today (the day that I found out of your glorious homecoming) to think of a way to let Tony & the girls know how much you meant to someone they have never met and probably never even heard of and there just aren’t words that can accurately describe the sheer blessing you have been in my life. *gah, stupid emotions, crying for the millionth time today*
When I was at my lowest and felt like everyone in the world had walked out on me, you were there. When no one else understood how God was speaking to my heart about restoring my marriage, you prayed in faith and agreement with me that God would work miracles (and He did). When my heart hurt and my faith was so small, you were there to help me hold my head up and keep my eyes on our Father. Now that my heart is broken, not for you but for those of us who are still sittin down here on this rock, I wish now more than ever you were here to say that God has it all under control.
I want so badly to read your blog tonight because I know that is how God is going to remind me exactly what you would have said in this situation, but my eyes are weary and my heart is heavy so it is most likely going to wait until tomorrow.
If I were a wealthy woman, I would be on my way to ThunderBay this week. Not to meet you, and that breaks my heart, but to hug each of your precious daughters and let them know what you did for me and to remind them (as if they need reminding) how much they and Tony meant to you (lol I remember you emailing me after the girls’ photo shoot and linking me to the pics and you going on and on about each one individually) and to, in a way, get to hug you through them. I already miss you Sweet Beth and hope that when it is my turn, you are one of the people waiting just inside the gates for me!!!! <3
Kate Johnson
My dearest Beth (Valerie),
Soup suppers and Craft nights, Christmas Pageants (Hanging of the Greens) and Harvest Fairs (remember that great big blow up pumpkin the children would march around?), my sons birthday parties and your daughters – we always did do them big! Those are a scant few of my memories of our time together. But one stands out above all the rest. Remember when I had separated from my first husband (and you were my ONLY friend who stood by me – yeah, you were always like that), you from yours, and we would sit for hours on the couch at your mom’s playing Rich Mullins over and over again? “Hold Me Jesus” – we just about wore it out! Well, He is holding you now, and I am still singing that song. Only now for a different reason – I miss you. But I know you are His and we will see each other again, and will sing together – this time with heavenly voices that don’t make others cringe. “Hold me Jesus, ‘cause I’m shaking like a leaf. You have been King of my glory, won’t you be my Prince of Peace.” We have that blessed assurance that He is our Peace. I love you Valerie Beth, and Billy, Josh and Chris also send their love.
Leona
Dear Beth,
I have received a number of emails over the last few years about friends we have for a lifetime or just for a season. I started thinking about this when I realized that I would not have you as an earth-bound friend for much longer. It amazes me that I have only known you for a few, short years, but in that time you have been solidly welded into my heart. You challenged, encouraged and taught me so much! You loved my family, my kids, me. You were my Beth-friend, one like no other.
In your last blog, you reminded us that God has created us for eternity. I may only have had you with me on earth for a short season, but we will have eternity together! In one day, October 8, 2010, you made heaven more real to me than ever before. But for now, I miss you!
Valerie Brown
Valerie,
You were my spiritual mom. You showed me what a true, dedicated Christian is, and what love really looks like. You loved people with your whole heart! I thank you for showing me that type of love. You were a great example to me of a godly woman and a loving mother, an example I pray I can follow. I cry because I miss you and have missed you for many years, but I’m so happy that you’re home in the presence of Jesus, whole and pain-free. I’ve never been through having a loved one pass and go to Heaven. It just makes Heaven that much more real to me. I thank God knowing that I’ll be able to spend eternity with Him and you’ll be there. I love you.
Valerie #2
Peggy
Our hearts are breaking, the only thing that makes any sense is to picture you whole,perfect, healed and happy. We love you, we miss you and always will
Robert Kodama
Beth,
You have fought the gallant fight courageously, but now you are in a far better place looking down upon us. We will greatly miss your happy smile and pleasant disposition. You leave a host of heartbroken friends whose lives you have touched deeply–from Florida to Thunder Bay. Tony, your childredn, your mother and your many devoted friends hold you dear to their hearts. Their sorrow knows no bounds. Rest in peace beautiful woman.
Melody Blais
I have no words, yet I feel I must express my joy and my sorrow of knowing Valerie Beth and losing her. Beth came into my life at a time when God knew I needed her. She trusted me with tutoring her daughter, Jenni-Felice, and in doing so gave me a reason to feel good about and help me to believe in myself. Yes, I know that God had given me that already, but Beth made it more real, more tangible. I had just gotten out of jail, was on probation, and she entrusted her child to me, wow. That spoke volumes about God’s love and mercy to me. I was practically a stranger, but still, a sister in Christ and she showed me God’s love and grace.
Beth is also the reason I have my children. She planted the idea of fostering and adopting. She was my trainer. She brought me my first child, Jennifer. God says, be faithful and I will give you the desires of your heart. My desire was children. I now have 5 formally adopted children and 4 others not formally adopted but mine none the less. Would I have my children without Beth? I’m sure God would have found a way. But, I believe that God used Beth to grant me my heart’s desires and Beth allowed herself to be used.
Beth and I lost touch through the years but we found one another at the end. Finding each other was a reminder that we will find each other once again when God also calls me home.
My heart goes out to Beth’s children, mother, and husband. I am so sorry for your loss. I grieve with you and for you.
Until the day we all meet again with her and our Lord and Savior.
Your sister in Christ,
Melody Blais
Melly
Inspired by Beth.
I “met” Beth online in 2007 , on a digital scrapbooking website called Scrapbookgraphics. She was called “20birds” and I was called “decomom“. I remember some of her layouts from that first introduction to her life – they were, of course, about her beautiful family. It was her journaling that really caught my attention – she was such an engaging writer, that I was inspired to do more journaling on my own pages. Our shared passion for digital scrapbooking developed into a very real friendship. It might seem strange to say that our friendship was mostly conducted via the internet (emails, blogs, face book, etc) but it is true. And it is also true that I could not have made a better friend. And as I got to know Beth, I became more and more inspired.
* Inspired to do more actual crafting, out of the digital world. (I learned that Beth wasn’t just a digital scrap booker, but a “real” one too! Sometimes she even did hybrid things! With Beth‘s encouragement, I started paper scrap booking, making cards and even doing some mixed media stuff)
* Inspired to cook and to bake for my family. Somehow, Beth found time to mother her children beautifully, to create art in MANY forms and to cook delicious and intricate meals for her family. (Her pork salsa recipe is a mainstay in our house now!)
* Inspired to be an artist – it was Beth who invited me to do The Artist’s Way with her in November, 2009 (right before her diagnosis). Beth was an artist – a writer, a scrapbooker, a sewer, a crafter. And she never stopped encouraging other people (me included) to make the most of their God-given talents.
* Inspired to be a better mother, a better wife and a better daughter. She threw birthday parties with elaborate cakes and meals. She crafted gifts and party favors. She gave of herself for the enjoyment of her family. Once, Beth recommended a book to me called “Romancing Your Child’s Heart” and it is for me the best summary of how Beth loved her children – passionately, kindly and with an eye to making them love Christ as much as she did.
* But most importantly, inspired to be a better Christian. I saw that Beth was “on fire” for Christ and I wanted to feel what she was feeling. I wanted to have her faith and belief. Beth inspired me to get to know Christ, to read the bible more and to believe and love God more deeply. She encouraged me to do the Beth Moore Believing God Bible study and prayed for me and made me feel loved, like she really saw Christ in me. I was (and am) humbled by her friendship and am forever inspired to be more like her. To love more deeply, to forgive more easily and to look for Christ in all the people I meet.
I miss her terribly and am grieving with and for her entire family, especially Tony, her daughters (Jenni, Melinda, Mary, Katherine, Emily and Hannah) and her mother. I can only imagine the pain you are enduring at losing such a phenomenal woman, but I know that she blessed your lives immeasurably as only she could.
I love you Bethy!
Melly aka “the other Melinda” aka decomom
Nancy
I want to say thank you Cain family for allowing me to come visit your mom an hour or two before she went to be with the Lord. Desley, Leona, and I had such an amazing opportunity to tell her how well she raised her girls, how fervent and strong their mother’s love was for her whole family and how well she accomplished this. I also had the chance to let her know that Desley and I want to look out for the three youngest of girls (take them out for girlie nights and get to know their hearts and minds better). I know in palliative care, they say the last sense is the hearing to go, that’s why, I believe, it’s so important to talk to them throughout this transition. Neat how the Lord orchestrates all those minor details in the last stages of life on earth. To hear your loved ones talk to you would probably bring great-great comfort. So, I believe and hope, by God’s merciful grace, she was listening to us and there was a divine peace that God would and will work everything out for good. It was so powerful to reaffirm scripture together, pray for her together, and that it was o.k. for her to go and walk with Jesus. I whispered and kissed your mom that I would see her ‘in just a little while’.
Cain family thank you so much for making the cross of Jesus stand victorious and famous in my heart –overwhelmingly!!– because of your mother’s witness to the Lord. You have given me a lifetime of reaffirming grace that the cross of Jesus is ‘sufficient’ enough for us all. Beth displayed that so victorious as she was in transition to go home in the safety net of the Father. Palliative care has always been and will be my favourite kind of nursing, and I was hoping that I would get a chance to eyewitness a daughter of the king go home with the Father. Because to me –that’s life-life divine!! Funny how when I showed up at Desley’s that Rosie offered to babysit my children and we could all go to hospice together. God orchestrated that for us all. Twas His grace…
Beth Cain I love you and you live on in our hearts–always. You are such a legacy for us all. Thank you for loving my Jesus and how you sharpened the iron in all of us through every encounter that the Lord gave you to us. Weather we knew you for a little while or a long time, you have made an impression on our hearts that will last for all eternity. You have taught this church family how to rub off Christ and rebound his tender mercies to one another. Thank you my friend! ‘And I will see you in a little while.’
Tony
OK, thank you for your patience. I believe i have fixed the problem with the comments. You should now be able to leave a comment on any post.
Let me know if you run into any problems
Barbara Parker
I am glad to see that Tony is going to keep up the blog. I feel like an extended family now with Valerie Beth looking over us all.