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Crayola doesnt make a colour for this


swallowing that is… no colour for it because it is not visual alone… swallowing is actually, a feast of sensory imagery.. still not being able to truly swallow really takes away because it is an essential part of eating enjoyment. I saw a movie with Sally Fields, she has two weeks to live from some sort of cancer, and her children come home to wait it out. Two Weeks. She has no stomach anymore or something like that and the family joins her in a chewing feast. They chew and then spit out into cans what cant be swallowed. I saw that movie long before my own diagnosis and i was very touched by that scene. Well, i have done alot of that form of eating recently and it just isnt the same.

why should my blogging world be any different from my “real” circle? I WANT TO EAT… full shebang, and yesterday, not one minute longer.

more dreaming… My friend, Peggy who has been lots of places with me in this world… once said to me when i was caught up in self-pity, wondering how i was going to have a normal, happy life again (whatever that is,) Peggy said to me, “you are the best i know at re-inventing yourself.” again, we have few threads we have to tie together here… that was thread one…

next thread… for the most part the physical changes from cancer have all been taken in stride. But my hair growing back is not coming so easy for me. People around me say it is still growing, to me it seems to have stopped. It is largely salt and pepper, and mostly salt or mostly pepper depending upon your angle. Whatever… for me, it is way too masculine and harsh and not me. RE-invented or not… not Beth, or Valerie for that matter either.

Dying the hair has been ruled out by medical personnel, and there is not enough to work with to style, trim, or alter. Katherine thought of Heather’s headband… a simple plastic type of headband with a fluffy tulle coral flower. Heather bought it from Anthropolgie.

Talk about re-inventing me… i came full circle. I discovered the heartbeat of me. (billions of blogs dedicated to the subject. one young writer in her profile said, “if i could i would live in an Anthroplogie catalogue.” totally, I say, me too.) I have never had the branding of a product effect me so. The combination of non-frou-frou femininity, vintage, eclectic, stylistically sleek, verging on the shabby chic of the nineties pulls together so many impulses of mine, and seem to echo as i said femininity, but natural, flea market refurbishment, strength not afraid to get on a motorcycle (although i am :) ,) this woman can change a tire, argue with customer service (ever so politely,) and she can drop her hankie to catch an eye.

problem is the re-invented Beth is not fabulously, famously wealthy, and if she were, i dont think the old or the re-invented Beth would be able to justify spending those bucks for  things, for “stuff.” I mean i could splurge and get a darling brooch, but then we would have to re-coup before the next purchase. Next step for Beth in such a dilemma is ebay or kijiji. Used anthropolgie items are more than the original product because now “gently used” adds to the cost… Valerie Beth shakes her head.

Now my chiquita darling niece, Heather is to blame for all of this. Somewhere in a previous website for her business, Antique Key Photography she said that she aims to re-create an Anthropolgie catalogue in her photos, something i didn’t understand until i spent some time in their catalogue and then on the blogs of un-wealthy women wanting to re-create that world.

in my search i began by wanting to make a headband… but i also wanted to make some of the incredible retro-brooches they sell. which led to the knock-off lamps… her whole website is a dizzyingly powerful injection for creative mojo… ashley ann photography “under the sycamore tree.”

the anthropolie product… 148USD for smallish lights.


and the knock-off diy

click on image for instructions.

okay so this is blog post is not entirely an ad for anthropologie.


i want this necklace…can’t afford this necklace… so i am trying to figure out how to make it. (from the shophandmade site.) i have become over the last months, fascinated with all things handmade, and with the women creating stunning pieces of art in their homes, when their babies and husbands are asleep, after she finishes the job at the temp office or as her boss, sometimes with no family, sometimes with obligations we cant begin to understand. I know men do this all also, but for me, thinking of the woman creating an artful life in spite of the circumstances has completely consumed me.

and they cant seem to stay in one medium, one form of expression, they are cooking with a bit more zest, they cant seem to stay away from flea markets and then they have to add a dab of paint, or a bit of bling… and it is all about being personal, not settling for hallmark to say it for them, about knowing the recipient and letting it show, this appreciation for the details of our lives.

a blog i love for all of her creative, artful life… A New Design by Ashley Newell Cannon. click on image and scroll down for instructions…. then travel all over blog; read about her sister, how she was swept off her feet by her husband, how precious the love of her parents was to her… and the amazing recipes.


and these women are generous.. they want to help us be creative also, they are urging us to test our wings, so they give us links, templates, recipes, ideas, instructions… (and no, they are not all generous and we will not get me started on what i think about that.)

some of these womenfollowing are my friends, and some of them I am related to, and some are in both categories :) !

Laurel is making washer pendants from photographs, covered with resin> stunning… but i cant find a photo of  her finished product. Before the pendants, she was custom-designing baby shower cupcakes, and taking and framing amazing nature photographs.

Melly, has in the last few months taught herself to crochet and she is busy making new kinds of art…


this link takes you to specific post.

and Lois, how does one describe Lois.. well, probably with her real name, which Lois ain’t. She has created an entire web persona and hops back and forth between virtual and real blogger. She is living so artfully from her RV and her stationary home whipping up meals and artisan bread, sewing quilts, and writing… and looking after those she loves. (me. included.) She needs three or four blogs to cover it all…

click on image to go to Lois’ post where you will find link for recipe. and eat it with plugra butter, a tip from Lois, which i passed onto mary who loved it!

and then there is angie who is so busy creating she rarely takes photos… what touches me the most, she makes blankets for special babies that she is praying for to let them that while people in the world might have preconceived notions about them, she knows for a fact they are a blessing. below is a favorite Angie-craft of mine… she loves Christmas trees, yeah me too.


one last creative giant for me today… she needs a blog, i would be there everyday hungry for ideas and inspiration… back to anthropologie troublemaker, Heather. This are snaps from her house…



and a couple of her client photo-snaps…




so in the process, some wild dreaming going on… join me on my hot-air balloon, or perhaps my zeppelin (steampunk is on my brain)… and i need to give a nod to a generous digi-designer, Gypsy Chick. She has free designer palettes, she is giving out inspiration left and right, encouraging us to get into the mix, letting us know our art matters, makes a contribution.

i don’t know where i am going, but come with me, okay?

and this post doesnt’ nearly cover the people i admire in terms of generous creativity, more to come.

7 Responses to “Crayola doesnt make a colour for this”

  1. Melly

    I love this post, so rich in inspiration and imagination and LIFE! I can’t wait to see what happens next! (and I’m blushing that you included me in your list of crafty and artsy friends)


  2. Lois Grebowski

    Same here. I’m honored, and especially since I’m a relatively new friend! I hear ya about the more salt than pepper… and those salty ones get wiry and don’t behave! Just like us…

    :-D )

  3. angie

    I’m always honored to be mentioned on your blog. . . because it means I’m in your head — and in your heart.

    I promise to try and take more pictures. Pinky swear!!

    Love you, and your salt-and-pepper hair!!!

  4. Melinda

    Anthropologie is so much fun…it’s a shame they cost so darn much! :)

    You are just as creative and generous in all you do. love you!

  5. Melly

    I was getting spoiled with all your blog posts…miss you! :)

    (LOVE the pics on FB!)

  6. Shelly @ Life on the Wild Side

    Hi Beth! Just popped over here from Angie’s–she mentioned that you are in the hospital right now, and I want to tell you that you are in my thoughts and in my prayers. You have been such an encouragement to me as you walk your given path so bravely. God bless you and may He hold you closely as you continue to walk with Him.

  7. Heather

    Aunt Valerie, you wonderful, nutty, must-be-related-to-me woman! I always forget to check HERE to read up on you because I think that you, like me, are just facebooking… but clearly, I need to be BLOGGING. You made me laugh out loud… I needed that tonight.

    Your crazy niece always has something up her sleeve- umbrellas on the ceiling: definitely fun. I am bringing you my Anthropologie headband. And as much as you can tolerate it, I am creating anthropologie in your house just for a shoot so we can do the fun and crazy before all your girls head off for school ‘n stuff… and mine too. I can’t imagine my days again without my girls… I will miss them so. I can hardly stand the thought. I wish they wanted to home-school again so I could just keep them close to me. I’m grieving over the idea of them so cheerfully heading off- they love going to school. I hate them going.

    Anyway, while I would far, far rather you be here (and if I can finagle a way, I will) I would like to come see you- packed to the brim of my SUV with props that the border patrol will enjoy watching me unpack- just so we can do you all up and shoot, shoot, shoot til we poop. or… whatever.

    (You can always tell when I’m tired, no?) I wish I had read this earlier! What a putz I am! I love you. I think. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. about what you said about wanting to scrapbook Randy. Your heart is made of pure gold.

    <3 <3 <3 Heather

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