I am, yes I am. Tomorrow is a scan, i dont know what kind, either MRI or soft tissue scan of neck. 10 AM. Tony is taking me. These results will with the results of the other scan give doctors direction for the next step.
I am at times an emotional basket case. Last night was fairly awful. I feel like i dont even know who i am these days. Or what i am trying to recover for. I hate crying because it worsens the phlegm and the disgusting taste in my throat… the burning sensation on edges of my tongue. Last night, when it hit me that what i needed was armies of prayer… i had this entire post written. And now it all seems like a baby whining. I am a writer and i cannot even communicate the depths of my despair in anything but broad generalities. I know who i believe in. I know that the God who began this journey with us so many months ago will never fail me nor forsake me… but right now, well I cant seem to overcome this blackness.
I also know that i am loved by many people. I can list so many blessings and riches in my life. but i stand here…. needing prayer.